#23 How to Find True Love and Belonging w/ Mario Mittag
You know what I find strange about dating and relationships? In the “getting to know each other” phase, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to present the best versions of ourselves.
How are we supposed to really get to know each other when we’re only highlighting our good qualities and hiding all the other stuff?
Eventually the rose colored glasses wear off. And who we have standing in front of us is an actual human being: real, imperfect and also carrying baggage - and not some idealized version of who we want them to be. Our own imperfections are also mirrored back to us, exposing our wounds and vulnerabilities which can be super uncomfortable and almost impossible to be with.
In pretty much all of the relationships I’ve been in, I fought hard to keep up the facade of being the perfect partner: I would be agreeable, funny, easy-going, overly helpful, low maintenance and ignore my needs in order to be loved. I performed. I emotionally tap-danced. I walked on eggshells. And I abandoned myself - a lot.
After finally getting sick of my own shit, I committed to always put myself first. I went on a heart sabbatical and formed a deep relationship with my #1 - me. And right when that happened, Mario came knocking on my door… literally.
In this week’s episode of The Undercurrent Podcast, I share part 2 of the conversation I had with my partner Mario Mittag.
We talk all about our love and connection:
How he believes he manifested our relationship before we even met
How we quickly went from being neighbors to lovers (even after I told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious)
Why he feels he’s ready to commit to a long term partnership now vs. never feeling ready before
How we navigate conflict and hard conversations
How we are healing old wounds through our relationship
What motivated him to move to Bali from Germany and how he did it
Being with Mario has been the most enriching relationship I’ve been in. Not because it’s been easy (we’ve had some storms), but because we both feel free to show up with our flaws, imperfections and vulnerabilities. To be loved not just despite these characteristics but also for them has been a beautiful and rewarding experience. And I think that’s what true love is.