#68 From Living on Autopilot to Creating A Joyful Life w/ Joy Diwa
It had been a super busy day. I was stressed, he was stressed. While watching him do the dishes over his shoulder, I was wrestling with myself about whether or not I should say something about his incorrect(my POV obviously) method of washing our plates.
The compassionate side of me was like, “Just let him be.” But the control freak side needed to be heard, without any regard for my partner’s capacity to take feedback in the moment.
I regretted my compulsive nitpicking and apologized for my poor timing. He understood where I was coming from and was open to trying new ways of washing the dishes for next time.
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Over the last week, Mario and I noticed that we’ve been less patient with each other. Conflicts came up over some small things (like the dishes) which were not unusual or ideal.
So we got curious about why that was showing up and brought it up during our weekly check in.
The root cause: we had been living on auto-pilot.
During the day, Mario and I had been putting in work in each of our businesses. And in the evening, we’d get comfy and cuddle in front of the TV to decompress. We love this time together but realized that binge watching our favorite series didn’t leave time for us to really connect and be present together.
We decided to make a shift and get out of autopilot by changing our schedules and carving out more quality time at different points in the week. It’s been working well and we’ve been spending more of our mornings with intention and connection.
The smallest shifts can make a big difference.
I recently interviewed Joy Diwa about the topic of living on autopilot. She was a highschool educator for 10 years, living paycheck to paycheck. During the pandemic she found herself putting in extra time and extra energy that she didn’t have which sent her into a downward spiral.
She was disassociated and numbing her feelings with various coping mechanisms. She said at one point, she felt absolutely nothing.
Joy tells her inspiring story of how she left a decade long career to find her own joy and create a life with more meaning and fulfillment.
She also shares tips for people who feel stuck in life and how she personally moves through phases of stuckness and self doubt.
If you’re in this phase now, remember that everything is temporary and there is always a way out.