#71 How to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable w/ Eddie Douglas
In 2010 when I ended my 5 year relationship with my highschool sweetheart, I knew I wanted to be single for awhile after that. Ever since I had started dating, I almost always had a boyfriend. It was time for a break.
But you know what happened next? I fell in love with the next guy I went out on a date with.
Looking back, I can tell you with certainty that it wasn’t actual love. I was infatuated with him. He wasn’t emotionally available or ready to commit but that didn’t stop me from hoping he would change his mind about being in a relationship with me.
When I found out he was dating other people, I was crushed. The emotional impact felt physical, like I was hit by a bus. It was tough getting out of bed in the morning being in an unrequited love situation aka “situationship”.
To say that my feelings were uncomfortable is an understatement.
Instead of allowing myself to process and sit with these hard feelings, I did everything I could to distract myself from them. I pretended not to notice and started dating multiple people to numb myself from the pain of rejection.
I managed to convince myself and everyone around me that I didn’t want a monogamous relationship because I was too busy to care.
The details of my adventurous “love” life would provide for hours of laughter between my friends and I. I would share with them all the juicy things that happened as if my life were a TV show. It was temporarily entertaining. But during the quiet hours of night, when I would lay in bed, I felt a version of loneliness so deep that no matter how many guys I dated or how many friends I laughed with, it still wouldn’t be enough. I felt empty.
The only thing that could help me was to do the thing I had been trying hard to avoid: to face my uncomfortable feelings.
In my interview with rap artist, Eddie Douglas, he shares his story of how he transformed his life by getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Growing up in a gritty town in North Carolina, he faced a lot of adversity. And instead of letting it get the best of him, he leaned into these experiences and leveraged them to become more loving and kind.
He went on a spiritual journey that led him to change his life and career. He now lives in Bali where he enjoys life and creates hip hop music.
What is your relationship like with discomfort?
Mine is a little different these days. Because I learned the hard way that avoiding hard things doesn’t solve my problems, I’m more willing to face them.
Here are 3 practices I use personally to help me get through uncomfortable situations:
Presence - I meet myself where I am by either journaling or meditation. Instead of avoiding, I’ll try and get crystal clear about what my emotions are, why they are there and let myself be with them.
Self validation - I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling. And no matter what the feeling is, I offer myself words of affirmation as I would to someone I love.
Take baby steps - Instead of facing a hard thing head on, I try to break it down into baby steps. Sometimes big projects that I’ve never done before can take me past the edge of my comfort zone that I feel frozen. So instead of thinking about completing the big project all at once, I break it down into more manageable chunks and focus only on one at a time so it’s not as scary.
Do you have any tips of your own for how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable? Send us a DM @theundercurrentpodcast Instagram and share your thoughts!